So you may have noticed a missing review in this constant cycle of Chelsea gossip. Well this would be correct. Due to my absence of blogging last week, I thought I would tie these 2 episodes together and give a brief run-down of what happened last week followed by all the gossip of this year’s season finale.
So last week we saw Jamie completely ruin his chances with Riley after being incapable to letting go of his feelings for Lucy. Surely he should’ve learned to keep his mouth shut now but obviously this was not the case. Confessing his crush on Riley followed by confessing his undying love for Lucy is only going to end up in drama. Louise and Fran both battle it out for that all important date with the fresh-faced Fordy. Louise ends up on top (not literally- yet) and bags herself a dinner date/competition. Judging by Louise’s previous cooking disasters, we can already see this being entertaining!
In other news, Binky continues to cry about Alex whilst continually losing her friends in the process. The girls repeatedly talk about the Binky and Alex situation and come to the conclusion that they just have to let them get on with it. Binky, for one, doesn’t seem too fussed about this as she takes an overly flamboyant trip to Longleat with Mark Francis, Victoria and her sidekick Sophie. How divine!
*****
And finally it’s reached an end. Series 7, check.
We kicked off this week with the ‘Bois’ enjoying the rugby at Twickers, dressed in slightly unusual fancy dress. Spencer in some kind of snowball looking outfit and Stevie as a crocodile. And with the absence of Francis Boulle this series, Andy took to the game of skateboarding, tearing up the streets of Chelsea. With the enthusiasm of an excitable 5 year old, he bumps into Louise who takes pride in showing him her lobster (no innuendo) which she has just picked up for her cooking competition with hot date, Fordy.
Former business buddies, Lucy and Riley, meet to discuss their plan to sabotage Jamie at last week’s party. Riley proved she is the new queen of the ‘bitch walk’ and they both disapprove of Jamie’s indecency to grant an apology. Throughout the episode we continue to refer back to Cheska who takes pleasure in telling everyone how Binky has mistreated her as a supposed best friend. For someone that is supposedly over their friendship, she is doing a very good job of showing otherwise.
And so to Binky, who appears to be sat in an empty hair salon, promptly followed by Alex. “You’ve turned me into a miserable, paranoid wreck,” she tells him. “If you’re happiness means me walking away then you have to just tell me,” he replies. COME ON BINKY. EVERYONE IS BEHIND YOU. JUST WALK AWAY.
Louise and Fordy’s date has finally arrived and we can always rely on Sam to get in the way and be overly awkward and cringey. “Banging” is the how he describes their cooking skills. Oh Sam, just leave and stop cock-blocking. It takes her until the very end to confess that she didn’t actually cook the meal herself. She bought the food from a restaurant and served it on her own plates. Cheat!
Lucy and Jamie meet at Stephanie’s leaving party which prompts another round of drama and tears. Jamie informs Lucy that they cannot be friends and they cannot talk to one another as he will never be able to get over her otherwise. Bit harsh. She hits back that his is being “really mean.” He leaves, she cries. Emosh.
It’s even more emotional when Stevie and Stephanie have to say goodbye to each other. It would appear that they have both caught feelings after just the short amount of time they have spent together. Aww Stevie, he must be a great guy.
Mummy Felstead visits Binky for, what she thinks, will be some Mummy loving and excessive cuddles. WRONG. This evening quickly takes a turn for the worse when she accuses her Mum of just being another strong opinion that hasn’t supported her through her troublesome times. Oh Binks, come on. Surely you can’t blame your Mum for Alex’s cheating/orgy antics?!
We finally turn to a stately mansion for the final part of the series. Andy has arranged for out favourite poshos to take a trip to the country and enjoy a short break at what looks to be somewhere that even the Queen wouldn’t be able to afford. This calls for drama after drama (as expected). Riley and Stevie take a walk and rekindle their friendship whilst slagging off Jamie. Jamie’s feeble attempt at a prompted apology is thrown back in his face by Riley and Louise finally bags her kiss with Fordy. YAY!
Spenny and Alex have a solemn chat about the possibility of breaking things off with Binky, Jamie admits he spent the night with Lucy and Riley has an awkward breakfast with Lucy after she proposes that maybe she has been leading Jamie on. Uh oh. Spencer and Jamie dream of their trip to New York and about all of the English traits they are going to take with them, such as a cricket bat and a Ralph Lauren polo top. But then all hell breaks loose when Binky and Alex re-enter the scene. Binky approaches Spencer about his solemn chat with Alex and hauls into the limelight Spencer’s morals. Spenny reckons that the rumours of cheating will continue to unfold until Alex addresses the group as a whole… No time like the present!
In a courtyard with a strange resemblance to a Romeo and Juliet scene, Binky and Alex beg their friends to let them be happy. This sparks fiery responses and one huge shouting match. The distressed couple walk off into the night, never to be seen again until next series. What a finish!
You poshos look after yourselves. We’ll see you in New York!
katiemallalieu 